1: That monkey was like a gigantic engine of steam and iron, raging in his torpor over being denied the banana of everlasting life.
2: And then, the goat, squeezing together it’s immense strength, farted…
3: Like the aroma of a left over meat pie on a hot window sill, much like the panorama of the buffet line that Rosie O’Donnell cruelly conquered, as bitter as news received that you have won the Publisher’s Clearing House…and now owe taxes on your winnings, as soft and supple as a baboons rounded posterior, akin to the crashing cacophony of two large, sweaty men in a Russian Bathhouse breaking wind. Such is my love for thee.
4: The pain was almost like hearing the agony of my ex-girlfriends cooking.
5: In Washington, there thusly rode George Washington…
6: Though, of course, he did no such thing for actually it was Field Marshall Bernard Montgomery.
7: And then, with a sigh, he died in the rain.
8: So ain’t that the bees knees ay?
9: Because we all know that when one eats a peanut butter and ham sandwich while balancing upon your left inner most toe, that you will cause the stock market to plummet.
10: “And so I told him: Jim, why the hell can’t you come over tonight?’ And do you know what he said to me? ‘No?’ ‘That bastard said: ‘because of the glue!” (Sobbing followed…)
11: The flipping Concrete of British tea!
12: And so much like the reddish glow of an Autumn sunset, as it darkens the waters with it’s black, abysmal, deluge of down-pouring hatred and ironic despair.
13: So then, with a wink, he jumped into the air and landed atop the soaring 737, where he proceeded to lasso it and wrestled it to the ground as she swooned below.
14: That Derek guy, Big D he is, what a pal, truly what a pal.
15: For in the year 2525, all the calendars could only be divisible by permutations of seven.
16: Hurt me worse than the soft, squishy granite!
17: Because, as Oliver Cromwell once said, always wear your knickers atop your head when approaching the time to address Parliament for this is the surest and thine holiest way in which to smite the Dark gods of Chaos, especially that fatty Nurgle, and thereby beat Hitler at Poker.
18: ES TUTHT MEHR LEID!!!!! MEINE KOFFEE BONNEN IST VARUCKT!!!
19: Whereby the monkey, reclining in the corner, wearing his beige lab coat, lit up his cigar, looked me straight in the eye, took a deep puff and said: ‘You’re totally fucking crazy.’
20: As I walked out into the dark, abysmal morass of the reddish glow of the Autumnal sunset….
Dark Musings 
Great reading responses and creative and etc posts here… Well done, keep going… and maybe (part of) the question is, aside from consumerism and consumption of “how to…do anything” we work to write quality and meaningful texts, taking what advice and inspiration we can, when it happens…